9월 5일 한국에 떠나겠습니다
So here it is people, my final decision. I have been at the crossroads for 2 months, and stopped off at the local cafe for a very long cup of coffee. My friends, colleagues, boss and various other potential employers individually joined me for a chat to try to convince me to stay. I know that if I do stay indefinately, while I will live a more comfortable life than anything I can dream of compared with living in England... my personal life will suffer. At such an important turning point in my life I need to be far-sighted, and consider all things that matter to me now, and will concern me in the future. Yes, I have friends here; they are fantastic, I love them, and I will miss them, but I will never be able to settle down and have a family.
The foreign men stay here temporarily and move on. During their time here they are drawn to the novelty of having so many Korean women to pick and choose from, and will not look twice at a foreigner who is fluent in their language.
Even if both were fluent in both languages, Korean men will not marry a foreign woman. They are too cowardly to ignore their parents' protests. Here in Korea, a Korean woman will ignore their parents and marry a Western man, whereas the other way round is extremely rare, even in the capital city. Parents are concerned over keeping the blood pure, and often threaten to disown their son should he choose a foreign woman, even if he has an elder brother with sons. Koreans are not independent enough from their parents (at any age) to be able to cope with this, especially the men.
Over the past couple of weeks I have made snide remarks to fellow foreigners that the reason why Korea got invaded some many times is because the men are cowards, and that they
should have sent the women into battle instead. Meanwhile Korean friends, both male and female have confirmed the typical Korean man's character, pointing out that Korean men are too cowardly and narrow-minded bridge the race gap. Other than the colour of my skin, what frustrates me the most is the Korean perception of the 'huge' culture gap between Westerners and Koreans. I cannot account for the other Western countries, but with the exception of (in my opinion) exessive emotional dependence on parents, between England and Korea the gap is quite small. Any differences can easily be discussed and overcome.
The vast majority of Koreans have not set foot outside their own province, let alone in a Western country. Moreover, despite American TV programs on their TVs, the presence of foreigners and American- influenced concepts on every street corner, they remain naive to the idea that we are ALL HUMAN and basically all think and feel the same way in the vast majority of situations. A Korean man will not even stick around long enough to discover that this is true. A few individuals in particular have known me since my first week in Korea, and still cannot grasp this concept. To a Korean man, I am nothing more than a potential 'experience'.
Just like the majority of foreign women here, everytime I get in a taxi, or am introduced to someone new, I am complimented on my looks. In the past I have received a discount from the sale price on shoes and clothes without haggling, and even been given a USB cable for free (not at the same time as buying the camera) because of my perceived good-looks. However, I need two hands to count the number of months between being approached by a man of the appropriate age for a date. I have had a few 50 year olds spot me on the street, run to the nearest flower shop, and then chase me down the street brandishing a huge bunch of roses. "I want you boyfriend" they say, fumbling with their English and covering their wedding ring. "Not on your Nelly" I'm thinking, as I turn them down politely.
So after all that waffle and whinging, the conclusion is to travel through Malaysia and Thailand, then to India, and then back to England for Christmas. Will I ever come back? Maybe one day to visit my friends, if I have a spare 500 pounds lying around somewhere.
Now my spare time is occupied with researching for my travels, and I have no longer any time to study Korean. Besides, I have lost the motivation to continue with my studies. I will continue the narrative of my adventures in Asia on this website, and I have added sidebars titles relating to Thailand, Malaysia and India. I will add to these lists while I am researching these countries, and of course while I am travelling.
On Monday I will have to break the news to the Boss that I do not want to renew my contract. He insists that if I leave the students will follow. He will not be a happy man.
The foreign men stay here temporarily and move on. During their time here they are drawn to the novelty of having so many Korean women to pick and choose from, and will not look twice at a foreigner who is fluent in their language.
Even if both were fluent in both languages, Korean men will not marry a foreign woman. They are too cowardly to ignore their parents' protests. Here in Korea, a Korean woman will ignore their parents and marry a Western man, whereas the other way round is extremely rare, even in the capital city. Parents are concerned over keeping the blood pure, and often threaten to disown their son should he choose a foreign woman, even if he has an elder brother with sons. Koreans are not independent enough from their parents (at any age) to be able to cope with this, especially the men.
Over the past couple of weeks I have made snide remarks to fellow foreigners that the reason why Korea got invaded some many times is because the men are cowards, and that they
should have sent the women into battle instead. Meanwhile Korean friends, both male and female have confirmed the typical Korean man's character, pointing out that Korean men are too cowardly and narrow-minded bridge the race gap. Other than the colour of my skin, what frustrates me the most is the Korean perception of the 'huge' culture gap between Westerners and Koreans. I cannot account for the other Western countries, but with the exception of (in my opinion) exessive emotional dependence on parents, between England and Korea the gap is quite small. Any differences can easily be discussed and overcome.
The vast majority of Koreans have not set foot outside their own province, let alone in a Western country. Moreover, despite American TV programs on their TVs, the presence of foreigners and American- influenced concepts on every street corner, they remain naive to the idea that we are ALL HUMAN and basically all think and feel the same way in the vast majority of situations. A Korean man will not even stick around long enough to discover that this is true. A few individuals in particular have known me since my first week in Korea, and still cannot grasp this concept. To a Korean man, I am nothing more than a potential 'experience'.
Just like the majority of foreign women here, everytime I get in a taxi, or am introduced to someone new, I am complimented on my looks. In the past I have received a discount from the sale price on shoes and clothes without haggling, and even been given a USB cable for free (not at the same time as buying the camera) because of my perceived good-looks. However, I need two hands to count the number of months between being approached by a man of the appropriate age for a date. I have had a few 50 year olds spot me on the street, run to the nearest flower shop, and then chase me down the street brandishing a huge bunch of roses. "I want you boyfriend" they say, fumbling with their English and covering their wedding ring. "Not on your Nelly" I'm thinking, as I turn them down politely.
So after all that waffle and whinging, the conclusion is to travel through Malaysia and Thailand, then to India, and then back to England for Christmas. Will I ever come back? Maybe one day to visit my friends, if I have a spare 500 pounds lying around somewhere.
Now my spare time is occupied with researching for my travels, and I have no longer any time to study Korean. Besides, I have lost the motivation to continue with my studies. I will continue the narrative of my adventures in Asia on this website, and I have added sidebars titles relating to Thailand, Malaysia and India. I will add to these lists while I am researching these countries, and of course while I am travelling.
On Monday I will have to break the news to the Boss that I do not want to renew my contract. He insists that if I leave the students will follow. He will not be a happy man.
posted by Louise | 10:14 pm
1 Comments:
Seem slike you've thought a lot about this, and I think the decision you've come to will work best for you in the long run.
Plus, on a selfish note, it will be good to see you again.
Lee
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